I've come much closer to getting the antenna ready for trial. First, I've acquired a dish. This set me back the staggering sum of $10.00 + shipping from eBay. Just to be safe, I picked up one for nothing from a yard sale, just moments before it closed, as well. The first (pictured below) is a Dish Network model; the second is an elliptical model. I'll try both, and go with the one that has the stronger signal.
Next, I picked up some 15mm tall 3/4" copper piping from a local hardware store. They actually didn't even charge me for these, which I thought was very kind of them.
I picked up a few feet of standard household wiring out of the mess in my "don't throw this stuff away 'cause you might need it someday" box in my basement. Used my trusty pocket knife to open this up and extract the ground wire. That way, I don't have to strip the insulation off of the wire.